Shroom Doom

I had explosive diarrhea last night. Not once. Not twice. Not even three times. I sat and shat watery brown mud five times. After each session I wiped my butt and flushed, thinking it was over. As I washed my hands, another bowel movement would occur and then my poop chute would drop mad buckets of liquid dirt into the toilet. It didn’t help that I had a ripped bunghole either. I’m pretty sure the explosions were the result of eating some expired raw mushrooms. They felt a little soft when I was washing them, but I really needed them in my salad, dagnabbit! Now the thought of mushrooms makes me want to hurl.

More like 4 UP on me.

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