Gross.

I just had the worst explosive diarrhea experience ever in all my years of having explosive diarrhea. I was holding it in at my desk for a little while because I had to finish up some work. That built up the gas and packed the poo tight up against my bunghole. By the time I made it to the toilet, my anus was on red alert for a catastrophic explosion. I released, and an avalanche of liquid poo burst out of me. It hit the water so hard that it splashed and hit my back and the bottom rim of my shirt. O M G. As this was happening I tried to stand a little to escape the incredible height at which the poo was splashing, but that just made me squirt even harder which then made the impact of the poo against water even more dramatic. Now when I see splashes of poo on the wall in a random bathroom, I’ll know how that happened. I wiped myself (and the stall) clean. How did I become such a disgusting human being?

I know 🙁

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