I was constipated for a few days, so naturally when it was time to poop I pushed out something that felt like a mango. It f’in hurt like a muther. And of course it ripped me a new one. I gently patted my bunghole clean and started to long for the days of when my poops felt more like a banana (Exiting, not entering. Get your mind out of the gutter). Don’t get me wrong, I love mangos. They are delicious. I just prefer they not exit my anus.