Butt Popping Cherries

The cherries have defeated me. After I got home last night from running, my insides gurgled some more and I made it in time to the toilet to violently blast brown water out my bottom. It hit the water so hard that it splashed up my hoo-ha. Never in my life have I wanted to queef as badly as I did at that moment. I had poo water up my v’jayjay, and there was more ploppiness going on as I squirted cupfuls of brown cherry water out my bunghole. My stomach was a mess that night, and I didn’t feel like eating much for dinner. This morning I woke up to more diarrhea gurgles. I pooped a landslide of gooey poo in the toilet. It sort of resembled a non snow-capped Mt. Rainier. How fitting. Cherries: 5. Me: 0.

Eat these if you want your butt to throw up.

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