Surprise Poop

I had a bit of a stomach ache after lunch. I ate two very cheesy gnocchi and risotto dishes, so I figured the dairy was giving me gas pains. Despite the discomfort, I was still able to work and run some errands around the city. I farted a few times throughout the day, but it wasn’t enough to relieve my bloated abdominal cramps. I made it home a little after 6pm, and my butt went into fart overdrive. My butt sounded like an out-of-tune trumpet that would not stop tooting. I kept feeling gas push its way out of my fartbox until I felt something solid at the rim. I ran to the toilet and immediately shot out a few turds, squirted some fast-moving soft serve, and eventually I leaked out some poop soup. The commode was completely filled with brown liquid and fecal floaties when I was done. Thank God the toilet was re-assembled and the water turned back on. The shit bag from the day before was taunting me.

Do they make these for humans?

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