Lost Poop

When I gotta go and I can’t, I lose my poop. That happens when I have a bowel movement while I’m out and nowhere near a bathroom. With a bit of effort I’m able to shut my bunghole tight enough so no solids escape, but if I hold it too

Happy.

My wedding came and went last week, and I am happy to say that I’ve stopped my chicken and no shits diet. I’m back to eating whatever the hell I want, and I’ve put on five pounds in less than a week. I’ve also been taking massive dumps since I’ve

Happy Donut Day

Today is national donut day. Even though I don’t need to eat one because I finally pooped (thanks, ice cream), I’m going to devour one anyway just to honor its delicious, airy goodness. And because I really, really want a donut. Maybe it’ll help push out another turd. What harm