Sorry

Dear leftover refrigerated chicken meat, You looked delicious in the container, but when I popped the lid your stench hit me hard in the face. Why do you smell like fart? I did not microwave you, and you’ve already stunk up the office. My coworkers are angry. Please say you’re

No Shit

I’m still on the chicken-and-no-shits diet. Still eating chicken, still not shitting. And the chicken is straight up taunting me, too. I bulk boil chicken breast at the beginning of the week and refrigerate the rest. When I open the container, a waft of fart hits my face. Why does