I went overseas during the Thanksgiving holiday. Normally I suffer from travel constipation, but since I was in Asia and consumed gluttonous amounts of dirty street food, there was no shortage of dumps from my butt. Amazingly, I did not experience any explosive diarrhea during my travels. Just soft, long,
I went out of town over the weekend, and my buddy, Travel Constipation, followed. TC hung out with me the entire time, never leaving my side (or my insides). He held on to me (everything I ate), and when I tried to push him away (or out), he refused (farted).
My colon must have gone back into travel mode because I had not pooped for a week. So this morning to trick it, I did the most at-home-relaxation activity I could think of: toilet reading. I grabbed the thickest book I could find and plopped my butt on the toilet