Mentos the Poopmaker

Eating large quantities of candy gives me constipation. Strangely, the more candy I eat, the less I shit. However, I just discovered a delicious confectionery that makes me go number three (diarrhea)… Mentos!! I ate two rolls of the Freshmaker, and the next day I shat through a screen door.


Still constipated. I’ve pooped little pebbles here and there, but all this leftover Halloween candy is clogging up my insides! The smart thing to do would be to stop eating the candy, but that is wasteful, and I do not like to waste such precious delicacies. So I guess I’ll