walking death

one of my coworkers smells really bad. not like dookie bad, but he smells like old oily dirty laundry x 100. when i come into work and he’s already in the office, i can smell him without looking at his desk to check if he’s there. if he is on the other side of my wall, i can smell him. his pores emit the most awful stench.. it’s like a combination of copper (a very concentrated smell of pennies sweating in your hands for a few minutes) and week-long-unwashed oily hair. it’s very gag-inducing, and i often have to plug my nose when he talks to me. but to top it off, his breath is far worse than his no-shower days. stand 10 feet away from him and you can still smell it. it smells worse than my farts after eating a tub of yogurt and all-you-can-eat bbq. it’s like an invisible smoke monster. it’s like death. if you get too close to him you’ll die a violent death (from lack of breathable air).

sweaty pennies smell bad

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