Today’s AIM chat:

Friend: Shit, I have to piss so bad brb.

10 minutes later…

Me: Did you do both?

Friend: I did.  It was horrible though. I went in there and both stalls were occupied, so I came back and clenched my orifices for a few minutes and went back. One guy had just flushed and left the stall,  so I ran in there– the seat had a drop of urine on it.  I have no idea why since he just got up. But I wiped that off and sat down, and as I sat there I could tell the entire seat was moist.  I think from his butt sweat.

Me: BARF. Always use the seat protector!

Friend: I considered it, but I was too lazy.

Me: Gross. Now you have another man’s butt sweat on your butt.

Friend: I do.  I should probably take an antibiotic. I might have syphillis now.