Butt Savior

I had an accident last weekend that involved breaking my butt. I fell on it hard, and that area was so traumatized that I couldn’t poop for days. The residual pressure from the fall on my bunghole area made it feel like I had to poop 24/7, but when I sat on the toilet, my butt sat defeated. I was desperate to poop, so I started taking fiber pills. Nothing. I ate a bowl of cherries. Nothing. Against my will I resorted to becoming a geriatric and started pounding the Metamucil. Nothing after 12 hrs. Nothing after 24 hrs. Finally on the 72th hour, I was pooping. And it smelled like glorious rotting carcass. The poop was so soft and mushy that I could barely feel it coming out. I thought maybe there was only a little amount of poop in the toilet, but when I looked there was poo sludge piled neatly in mountain form. It was flowing out my butt like gooey soft serve chocolate ice cream. Metamucil is my new best friend.

My butt's new best friend

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