Nevermind

The presumptuous idea that I had the solution to never having constipation has jinxed me. I couldn’t poop two days after that post. I was drinking plenty of water, yet it felt like a rock-hard tennis ball was stuck up my butt. I pushed with so much force my head felt like it was going to explode. I did this for four days. FOUR DAYS. I had no bowel movements or the urge to dump. All I felt was something jammed up my pooper. I don’t know what caused this horrendous constipation. It may or may not have been the gummy bear binge I was on. Anyway I felt some movement on the fifth day, and I was able to push out a couple of bowling balls. They tore the crap out of my bunghole. It was a hot, bloody mess. Happy Halloween!

Please Help: Send Stool Softeners
Please Help: Send Stool Softeners

1 Comment

  1. Felipe | | Reply

    L-O-L! I’ve just found your blog (do not ask me how) and I LMAO reading this shit (literally)! Grettings from Brazil, very funny posts indeed LOL.

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