14:46:11 I have a bowel movement at work. I walk to the bathroom. There is someone in the middle stall peeing heavily. I proceed to the last stall.

14:46:18 I am in the last stall fashioning the toilet with protective seat covering and toilet paper. My stall neighbor is still peeing with the same force and froth as when I entered the bathroom.

14:46:32 I drop my pants and sit down. The unidentified person is still peeing like a racehorse. My brain cannot grasp the amazing capacity of the emptying bladder. It leaves me temporarily confused and I think she’s watering the toilet with a garden hose.

14:46:37 I peek under the stall divider and look for a garden hose. Nothing. Then I check the shoes because maybe it’s a man. I see women’s footwear.

14:46:45 The pee stream is weakening and coming to a halt.

14:46:48 The pee stream picks back up to its original force and continues for a few more seconds.

14:46:56 I drop a deuce as the mystery peepee lady finishes and flushes the toilet.

14:48:30 I drop my last deuce.

14:50:05 I’m still sitting on the toilet, awed that I just shared a bathroom with the world’s heaviest and longest pee-er. What is life?