Bye, Kids

I am finally home from traveling and the first thing that happens after I unlock my door… mega colon bowel movement. It had been several days since I last pooped. I weighed myself before and after.. a five pounder. I love that my intestines know when I’m home and lets

I pooped!

Oh, happy day. I pooped! And yes, it was triple times the mega-poop I usually poop. But no clogged toilets thanks to industrial strength flushes here at the office. The poop came out just as I imagined, fast and with a purpose. It wanted to get the hell out of


I am very sad. I have not pooped in days. Even with yesterday’s alien gas baby incident, I did not end up pooping. It has been three days now. THREE DAYS! That’s craziness for a mega-pooper like me. I can’t wait until whatever’s plugged up in there loosens. When the