I went #2 in the office bathroom this morning. I was alone, so I took my time. Unfortunately someone came in as I was pinching a loaf, and I was having performance anxiety, so I gave a quick but strenuous push. I might have pushed too hard because it kinda hurt. What made it worse was I heard a familiar toot from my stall neighbor, and it sounded like my coworker with the melodious butt. As much as I enjoy listening to her musical farts, I didn’t feel like sharing a stinky moment with her. So I wiped super fast (and also accidentally wiped myself raw) to get out of there stat. Too bad it ended up not being my coworker, so my hurrying wasn’t necessary. It’s been almost 12 hours since this incident, and my butthole still kinda stings.