Toilet Rarr!

I love taking dumps at work (in the bathroom, not in my office). This is strange considering my public bathroom phobia. The cleaning lady usually finishes scrubbing down the toilets around 11am, and that is my favorite time to poop because the seats are polished and there is no crusty urine residue for me to cry about. I still layer on the seat protector and toilet paper, but it’s the only time of day I do it without cringing. When I dump at work, I don’t have to worry about clogging the toilet with my ginormous poops because of the industrial strength flushes. Also, I love the sound of an industrial strength flush. It’s like a dragon gulping my poop and taking it down into the dookie dungeon. The mega flush also washes off any poopy tread marks my logs leave on the toilet bowl (I have to flush twice at home to get all the poo graffiti off the bowl). Hooray for dragon flushes!

Oh, hell yeah!

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