I am doing something I’ve never done before in the four years that I’ve had this site.. I am blogging from the toilet as I take a dump. Strange how I’ve never even thought of writing about poop while I’m pooping. Usually when I have a blog-worthy dump, I’ll write about it right after it happens. This morning when I had my bowel movement, I decided to take my laptop with me to the toilet. And now I know why I don’t blog as I poop. This laptop is freakin’ heavy, and it gets hot fast. My thighs are not only asleep because of the weight of the Macbook, but they are also burning from the heat of the battery. And because of that, my thighs are all sweaty, and it’s making my butt sweaty, and a sweaty, sticky butt on a toilet is no fun. And now my butthole is tingly ’cause I just made a massive girthy turd, my thighs are tingly because they’re asleep, and I’m starting to sweat all over from the heat generated by this laptop. This would be a good time to stop writing. I gotta wipe my butt. Happy Saturday!