Uh Oh.

I haven’t pooped in three days, but I have had a lot of gas. I’ve been farting more than usual (probably constipated and gassy from all the meat I’ve been eating), but my farts have had no odor. This is very strange to me. I have three days worth of poop stored inside my intestines, and when I pass air through my colon there is no smell. I’m not sure if I should be worried. I don’t even feel bloated or bottom heavy. Why don’t I need to poop, and why don’t my farts smell? Where is all that foulness going? Then I remembered I ate an extra rare steak on Sunday. Oh shit. I might have worms. That would explain the zero bowel movements. I really hope I don’t have worms. I’ll let you guys know if my sphincter starts itching.

Please don't let it be worms!!!!

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