Soft Serve Straight from my Sphincter

You’ve probably heard of the Squatty Potty by now, thanks to its genius Youtube video. Hilarious commercial, but does it really work? It’s something I’d love to receive as a gift, but I’d probably never buy one. That was my reasoning until I visited my cousin’s apartment and saw it neatly tucked under her toilet. That morning before I visited her, I was feeling a little bottom heavy. I knew I needed to poo, but it was one of those sit-on-the-toilet-and-push-for-30-minutes-and-maybe-a-pebble-will-fall-out kind of feeling, so I didn’t even try to go while I was at home. I went to her bathroom to take a leak, saw the Squatty Potty, and for shits ‘n giggles tried it to see how comfortable it was. I was surprised at how much stretch I had to put into the sitting squat, but I was more surprised that I felt a bowel movement a few seconds later. With a light push, my butt ejected a smooth long turd within the first minute of putting my feet on the Squatty Potty. Holy crap. This thing is amazing. Forget waiting for someone to gift this to me– I bought it as soon as I got home, and it’s being delivered today. Christmas is early for me this year.

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