My Hiatus

Hi Friends, It’s been a while since I’ve updated this blog. It’s not because I haven’t pooped since May. I’ve pooped loads. It’s because I got pregnant, but that was a good thing. I was waiting for my three months to clear so I could share with you my pregnant-body colon stories.


Dear leftover refrigerated chicken meat, You looked delicious in the container, but when I popped the lid your stench hit me hard in the face. Why do you smell like fart? I did not microwave you, and you’ve already stunk up the office. My coworkers are angry. Please say you’re