I had my butt poked and prodded last week voluntarily, and I paid good money for it. No, no you sickos! I had a colonoscopy. The day before my surgery was hell. I had to drink two liters of the most disgusting liquid prep. It tasted like over-sweetened artificial lemon
poops
Carrots
I ate a ton of carrots last night for dinner. Today I pooped. I don’t know if it was the carrot oils or the fact that I am a talented pooper, but my dookies just fell out of my butt without a push or strain. Then I peeped at my
Ouch. Eww.
I just had the biggest, most massive dump ever. It was so big that it tore my bunghole. It hurt like a mother. In other news, I’m on the rag. When I looked down at my pantyliner while I was dumping, I saw a blood drop in the shape of
