Fart Face

Friday evenings I go to a fitness class after work. The room is small, so it gets crowded. Doing push ups is a little like playing Twister– you have to maneuver yourself to avoid touching anyone. I somehow found a spot where my head was close to a guy’s mid-section.


Dammit. I had to pee, so I hovered over the toilet. However, the super cute outfit I was wearing restricted me from bending my legs at the knee to their appropriate angle. As a result, pee trickled down my thigh, calf and into my shoe, and I couldn’t do a

It’s Saturday!

It’s Saturday the day after Friday! I pooped! Definitely not a week’s worth of poop, so it was a very unsatisfying poop, but it was a poop nonetheless. I woke up this morning to minimal bowel movements and dragged my butt to the toilet, sat for a few minutes and