For Your Consideration

I like to use the handicap stall at the office when I have to poop. The stall is bigger and offers more comfort during my prolonged bathroom visit. If it’s a mega big stinky poo, I usually do a courtesy flush in case someone walks into the bathroom as I’m still conducting toilet business. I am a complete germaphobe, so I know what happens when you flush a toilet– the invisible poop particles jump up six feet out of the toilet, and if you are sitting over the toilet as it is flushing, billions and gazillions of micro fecal particles splash all over your butt. Ew, no thank you. So to avoid this, I do a quick butt wipe, flush the toilet, and I run to the opposite end of the stall (large handicap stall needed in order to accomplish this). I stand a few feet across from the flushing toilet and count to 20. While I’m doing this, my pants are still around my ankles. Anyone walking into the bathroom at that moment can easily see my feet and my dropped pants from under the stall door. Embarrassing, but I prefer that to getting splashed with a kabillion micro poo particles. After my 20 seconds are up, I shuffle back to the toilet and finish my business. Most of my poops are quick and clean, so courtesy flushes are not necessary. But if I ever have to flush more than once, using the bigger handicapped stall is the way to go.

Always practice this in a larger stall.

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