I have been slightly constipated for a while now. Last Sunday I ate corn on the cob. My bunghole had been clogged and backed up a couple days, so when I pooped on Monday there was no corn in my turds. Tuesday I didn’t poop. Wednesday I pushed out a massive amount of dung, and when I looked in the toilet to admire my work I saw corn all up in my turds. At first I had no idea what it was, and it kind of freaked me out. It took me a while to remember I consumed corn two days earlier. Thursday rolls around, and I don’t poop that day. Friday morning I drop a huge deuce, and when I check out my turd it is embedded with corn. Wow. This could mean only one thing: I am full of shit. Week old shit. That’s kind of disgusting. I need to eat more fiber.