Splish Splash

I made a ginormous poopie in the toilet this morning. The gravitational force between my bunghole and the toilet water was particularly strong today. My poop bellyflopped and made a huge splash. The splash had mad height. It hit my cheeks and wet my fartbox. Cringe. The second turd I pushed out plunged into the water and made an even bigger splash that torpedoed up between my thighs and onto the bottom of my abdominal area. I am an edge sitter, meaning I sit at the edge of my seat, toilet included. So the fact that the splash managed to maneuver its way through the small triangle gap between my thighs and the toilet seat and then up my belly is kind of phenomenal albeit disgusting. Thank goodness I was at home because stranger toilet poop water germs splashed on my tummy would have given me a panic attack. I promptly took a shower after I wiped.

I always do this for public toilets. I slack when I'm at home.

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