After I woke up this morning, I produced my morning pee and farted a nice long intestine-deflating fart. It was almost like a wet bean fart, but it wasn’t wet. As I looked down to wipe, I saw a big nasty bug in the toilet that I didn’t notice before I sat down. For a split second I thought I shot that from my ass, and I almost had a hardy-tack. But that couldn’t have come out my bunghole.. right?? RIGHT!?? It must have already been in the toilet, hiding until my toxic urine killed it and made it a dead floater. Right???! Oh gawd, I feel ill.