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I am a gassy person. I love to fart, and I love to burp. However, I’m very conscious when I fart (ie- I hold it in when I’m in public.. at least most of the time). But when it comes to burps, I let it out without thinking about the consequences (ie- It’s kind of rude. And gross). I’ll keep my mouth closed when I burp in public (to keep the noise level down and the smell to a minimum), but that usually doesn’t work because the air that comes up through my throat is almost always thunderous and manly and often garlicky. I grew up with brothers, so I’ve had many years perfecting my burps to be monstrous and with a lot of vibrating bass. My early years were full of forced, upchuck-type of burps. But because I’ve lived with that for so long, it comes natural and without a thought. It’s all fun when I’m around my friends and I want to gross them out, but when I’m at lunch with my coworkers and I drink my soda a little too fast, I forget that I’m sitting across my boss when I burp a Hail Mary at his face.

I'mSorryIDidn'tMeanToBurpInYourFace!!

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