I finally had a bowel movement, but it came at the most inopportune time. I was in my bathing suit. On a boat. In the middle of nowhere. About to go into the ocean with a group of people ready to snorkel. Keep in mind I haven’t pooped since last Tuesday, so this was no ordinary bowel movement. I couldn’t hold it and jump in the water, otherwise the group would have been swimming with more than just sea creatures. I stayed in the boat and did my business. I really feel bad for the person who has to clean out the toilet waste. I think I lost an inch around my waist.