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My mom and I were out shopping and we both needed to tinkle. We found the women’s restroom in the back of the place. There were two male security guards sitting outside of the bathroom. The main door to the bathroom was propped open, but the inside was not in view of the guards’ line of sight. If it was, I would have closed the door. Anyway, my mom and I did our business in each stall. Mid-pee, my mom lets out a fart. It was not just any regular fart, it was a loud and long fart. Really long fart. It lasted the length of my pee and my wipe and my flush. I didn’t know it was possible for a fart to last that long. How much gas can come out of such a tiny, petite woman? It must have been packed all the way in to her fingertips. And OMG how did something so disgusting come out of her?? We were both giggling as we were washing our hands. When we exited the bathroom, the security guards got quiet and shot me a I-heard-what-you-just-did-in-there look. I didn’t have the heart to point at my mom and expose her fartiness. I just lowered my head in shame and ran away. I guess I get my gassy ass from her.

Like mother, like daughter

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