I live by the three-second rule. If food (preferably dry food) falls on the floor, I have three seconds to pick it up, dust it off, and eat it. I dropped a potato chip on the floor next to my desk. I picked it up, blew off the cooties that
poops
Break Up
I went out of town over the weekend, and my buddy, Travel Constipation, followed. TC hung out with me the entire time, never leaving my side (or my insides). He held on to me (everything I ate), and when I tried to push him away (or out), he refused (farted).
Public Restroom Stories
Friend: I went out to the bathroom to take a shit. But as I was walking there, some guy was also walking in to the bathroom, and he looked at me very intently. I was pretty sure he needed to take a shit too, so I walked past the bathroom,
