I made two mediocre poopies this morning. I still felt bloated afterwards, but I figured I was done for the day. I disrobed for my shower and then felt some movement in my bowels. I stood there with the water on and contemplated whether or not to take a shower. If I had to poop after the shower, then that would be a waste of a shower because I’d have to shower again after pooping, and I hate showering. So I leaned forward, waited a few seconds, and pushed out a fart. It was one of those deep farts where you feel like your colon is being deflated as the air is escaping from your butthole. Then I took a few steps back, bent over, and sniffed the vicinity of where my butt was. No malicious odors. That was my green light to shower. I farted one more time just to double check, stepped back, and sniffed. All clear. The shower commenced.