oy. i had spicy food last night for dinner, and it didnt sit well in my stomach. this morning i woke up with a little bit of fiery fierceness growling in my intestines. i sat on the toilet for a while trying to push out something, but it wasnt ready to leave my insides yet. by the time i got to work, i had to pinch my butt cheeks closed to keep the poop soup from spilling out. but i guess i held it in long enough because by the time i got to my desk, the urge to shoot poo water out my ass had passed. but i went to the bathroom anyway because i didnt want to feel any of my usual diarrhea-hot-flashes. you know how when you dont have to pee but then you go into the bathroom and suddenly you have to pee really badly? as soon as i went through the bathroom door, i almost squirted liquid dookie out my bunghole. i hurried to the stall, cursed the toilet seat for being dirty, wiped it and put a seat protection cover on top, sat and shat. this time it didnt smell like yesterday’s stale-beef-and-curry poo. it smelled exactly like what it was. shit. really really stinky shit.