Some Ragret.

I’m visiting my parents this weekend. They took me out to dinner tonight, and since I have an extra cheat meal, I ordered a lot of food. The amount was probably equivalent to what I’d normally eat if I wasn’t on my pre-wedding diet, but since I’ve been on portion control my stomach capacity has shrunk. We went to an Indian restaurant and I ordered a large bowl of extra spicy lamb curry with rice (I haven’t had carbs for 3 weeks), a large garlic naan, a basket of fries, and three giant cookies for dessert. I was so bloated that my stomach hung from my elastic shorts. I could feel stretch marks forming on my belly. I was wearing a fitted shirt, but it was too painful to suck in and appear thin. I rubbed my hand on my stomach letting people assume I was five months pregnant instead of a gluttonous fat ass. My abdominal pains were fierce. I started having them before the cookies, but I can’t say no to a cookie (or three), so I was a trooper and ate them. I was still hurting back at my parents’ house. I didn’t have a bowel movement, but I wanted to sit on the toilet anyway and hoped something would come out. Hope turned into reality when my intestines made a huge diarrhea gurgle, and two seconds later: flash flood. It looked like someone shoveled mud (or chili) and piled it in my toilet. It was foul, and my butthole was on fire. It took 5 flushes to rid the toilet of floating poo particles. I finished and went downstairs to the kitchen to replenish some fluids. I returned back upstairs, and as soon as I reached the top I smelled something eggy. The entire second floor had fart air. I went into my room were the scent was the strongest. It was worse than fart, it smelled like raw sewage, and it made me feel ill. Does this mean I get another cheat meal since I pooped this one all out, too? Actually, I don’t want to eat anything ever again (or at least until tomorrow).

All that. In my toilet.
All that. In my toilet.

3 Comments

  1. nick nick | | Reply

    I know what you mean… Yesterday my boss was using the bathroom and after he came out, the overwhelming stench traveled through the whole office 😮 And we could smell this for the rest of the day, because the air freshener had run out :/

  2. pooter | | Reply

    That is a hazardous work environment! 😀

  3. nick nick | | Reply

    Haha yeah I think the same 😛
    Moreover we don’t have openable windows in the office, so I’m even afraid to fart there :/

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