Cracked Crack

My skin has been cracking and peeling due to the dry weather from the cold. I thought it only affected areas of my skin that were exposed to the cold.. hands, face, legs. Apparently not. I was at the office pushing out a big one. I was in a hurry, so I thought I’d assist my butt muscles by using my hands and pulling my butt cheeks apart to help the turd come out the hole faster. I didn’t strenuously pull or use any brute strength to part my cheeks. I guess my skin was dry enough down there that the extra tug split the skin. It hurt like a mother, and it stung every time I peed and/or pooed the next couple of days after that incident. I am never helping my butt again.

Don't open too far apart or you'll be sorry

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