Dude Looks Like a Lady

I was out having lunch the other day, and I had to use the bathroom. I fear public bathrooms because I am a germaphobe, so I had to psych myself up as I walked in the door. All the stalls were taken, so when I saw a door open, I shuffled towards it. A beautiful, very tall woman emerged and smiled at me as I went past her and into the stall. As soon as I looked at the toilet, there was a WTF moment. There was urine ALL OVER the toilet. I know girls like to hover over toilets to keep their thighs from touching the seat. This sometimes causes pee to splash on the front of the toilet seat. When this happens to me, I will wipe the seat. But not all girls are courteous enough to do this, so I often expect to see a bit of pee splash on the front of the toilet. However, this girl had peed on the front, the middle, and the back of the seat. There were drops of urine everywhere on the toilet seat. How the heck did it get on the back? That’s when I realized that beautiful woman was not a woman. She was a dude, and she had an uncontrollable penis.

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