Hippie Hippie Splash

I decided I wanted to be earth friendly today and I used the toilet right after my fiancé, as in to save water I told him not to flush the toilet until after I pooped. I soon realized that was a mistake after my butt decided it was a bazooka this morning. Each poop missile hit the surface of the toilet water hard, and there was major backsplash. First contact hit my right cheek. I squirmed in disgust, and as the second bomb exploded the splash hit my left cheek. Third strike hit me right in the fart box. Ugh. Now I have pee all up in my bunghole. Fourth and final turd was the biggest. It slammed into the water with so much force that the splash reached my upper butt cheeks. Needless to say, my concern about saving water backfired (and backsplashed) on me, and I ended up wasting more water by taking another shower to wash off all the cooties.

I wish this was me 🙁

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