My fiancé is a pro at throwing farts, and he is extremely proud of this skill. The first time I saw him catch a fart, I thought he was picking his butt. I looked at him with disgust and called him out. He coyly smiled and then immediately put his hand right over my nose as I inhaled. Did he just shove a turd in my face? As I gasped for air, more fart fumes filled my lungs. It was terrible and slightly traumatic. Since then, I have unsuccessfully tried to fist fart in his face multiple times, but they’ve all ended up as unscented air. My hobbit hands are unable to cup and hold any stink bombs. He continually teases me with his talent while I silently pout in my corner. But I finally got him back last night. I ate a whole lot of dairy and as my lactose intolerant bowels were working, I waited until he hopped in the shower to plop my butt on the toilet and make super stinky poop soup. It helped that he was taking a hot shower, so the poo air was thick and steamy. He gagged and gasped, and I smiled as I finished and shut the door. Payback is a bitch.