Oily Butt

Holy freakin’ poopsicle!

I made a poopie yesterday. It was a totally normal poop. No straining. No pushing. Just a regular ploppity plop. When I was done and ready to wipe, I looked into the toilet and paused to stare at the freakiness that was in the bowl. Apparently my butt exploded like a BP drilling rig and oil gushed out into the murky waters. How the hell that happened I have no idea. I didn’t eat anything out of the ordinary yesterday or the previous day. There is nothing I can think of that lead to the multitudes of black oil droplets in the toilet or to the oil seeping out of my poop log to the surface of the water. It was deeply disturbing knowing my butt produced an oil spill. Deeply disgusting, too.

no animals were harmed during my oily poop

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