She shoots she scores

I am having constipation issues. Last night I sat on my toilet and pushed for a few minutes. I refrained from using any help from my deceivingly strong hands and did some good old fashioned pushin’ and strainin’ (and gruntin’). I ehhhhnned and I huhhhhhhmmed until I finally got that big ol’ sucker out of my butt. I looked into the toilet to lay my eyes on this beast my anus just birthed and was disappointed to see a small round golf ball of a turd. It was not the long girthy log I was expecting, but it definitely had girth. And it was resting snuggly inside the toilet pipe– slightly peeking out to say hi. My first hole in one.

Try shitting one of these out your butt.

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