Yo’gas

I have been going to yoga, and it’s been doing wonders for my intestines. Every stretch or bend, I feel like I am moving around and loosening up my bowels. This is great in that it helps me poo more regularly. But in class it’s not so great when I’m bending over and doing the downward dog pose or any position requiring me to stick my butt up in the air. Yoga class is the last place I want to fart; I wouldn’t want to disrupt anyone’s Zen. However, this was not the concern of the guy next to me. As he went in for the downward dog, his butt barked loud and hard. Then I laughed and disrupted everyone’s Zen.

I bet this dog didn't fart while in this pose

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  1. Catherine | | Reply

    I don’t do yoga all that often but I do go with one of my friends every once in a while, so not surprisingly I also have a yoga fart story. Against all reason, I agreed to meet my friend for dinner at an indian restaurant. It was only a few minutes into the class that I realized my chicken curry was creating more gas than I had any chance of holding in. When the first fart finally slipped out it was thankfully silent, but the stink was absolutely horrific even by my standards. No one said anything, but I could see the pain and anguish in the eyes of all around me. About ten minutes later when I felt the pressure building again, I opted to take a “water break” rather than fumigating the room a second time. It took me another two “water breaks” to get through the class safely. After the class was over, my friend (who is not one that I openly fart around) immediately asked me if I noticed that “awful smell” and told me that “whoever it was must have shit their pants.” Cue me laughing nervously and nodding my head in agreement.

    The same friend has invited me a few times to try bikram yoga, but I have always politely declined. I fear that one of my SBDs in a small, crowded, 100-degree room could easily result in me being prosecuted for crimes against humanity.

    • pooter | | Reply

      LOL Catherine oh my.. how mortifying and hilarious! I try not to eat two hours before yoga– otherwise every time I bend over (even in child pose) some air might escape through my cheeks.

    • pooter | | Reply

      Katie — HAHAHA Nice to know there is a tutorial about this. Too funny!

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