Growing old is no fun. Yesterday I bent over and farted. I didn’t know I was going to fart. It just happened, and I didn’t have enough reaction time or sphincter strength to keep my butt from honking. I would not have thought twice about this if it happened at home, but it happened in public. Maybe if the fart was a quick explosion it wouldn’t have been as embarrassing, but it was an old granny wet bean fart that repeatedly sputtered. It was disgusting, and those who heard it retreated from the area like they were avoiding a plague. That made me sad. I farted like an old grandma.


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