High Quality H2O

Water does a body good, and it’s especially good to my bunghole. I know that I should hydrate myself and drink a lot of water, but I’m lazy and I don’t care. But for the past three weeks I’ve been forcing myself to drink more water, and it’s done wonders for my poops. I’m still occasionally constipated because of my large protein intake, but when the log is ready to come out it no longer rips my bunghole to shreds. Instead of forcing out a rock hard boulder the size of a plum, a slender snaky poo will slither out my butt instead. I’m liking these new poops, but I’m not used to them yet. Whenever I’m about to drop a deuce after a couple days of no poo, the toilet is a torture chamber and I prepare myself for the oncoming megacolon pain, but I am pleasantly relieved when there is no blood or crying after the poo is released. That’s what I call high quality H2O.

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