Red Alert

I finally had a bowel movement and made #2 in the office bathroom today. I had to push a little, but it came out and it was glorious. However, I made an embarrassing discovery after I did my business. There are new bright light bulbs installed in the bathroom. As I washed my hands, I looked at my reflection and saw how red my face was from the pushing. I had never before noticed the blushy blotches because the lighting had been dingy for years. I waited an extra 30 seconds to let the redness subside before I exited the bathroom. All those times I dropped a deuce in the bathroom, I never knew it was evident on my face when I returned to my desk. I’m turning red just thinking about it.

It was sort of like this, but ALL OVER MY FACE.

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