Smelly Christmas

I’ve already gained 3lbs with all this holiday eating, and it’s not even Christmas yet. My weight keeps fluctuating after each dump. I’ll put on a couple pounds, then take off one after each yule log exits my chimney chute. I have been extra gassy these past few days thanks to all the sweets and heavy meals I’ve been shoving down my pie hole. My butt has been blowing out all sorts of chirps and croaks. I went shopping the other day and thought I was alone near the corner of the store, so I pushed out a bubbly stinker. It came out a little louder and a little fouler than I expected. A few seconds after I dropped that bomb, I heard footsteps walking .. or more like running.. away from my area. Whoops. Merry stinkin’ Christmas!

And a happy new year!

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