New Love

I’ve been on a probiotic yogurt diet for the past few days, and I think I’m in love. My butt is in love would be a more accurate statement. The yogurt gives me the softest poopies ever (goodbye, Mango dumps!). And a whole lot of it, too. This morning I weighed myself before the dump. Then I pooped chocolate soft serve for a few minutes. I looked in the toilet and saw the biggest recreation of swirled dog poo ever. I weighed myself after the dump and was THREE POUNDS lighter. Holy crap. This shit is the bomb.

This is what love looks like

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