I had lunch with my senile 90 year old grandmother the other day. She had to use the bathroom, so I helped her up and held her hand as we walked to the ladies room. As soon as we made it to the toilet, she dropped her pants and sat down. I didn’t have time to wipe the seat or even close the stall door. She just dropped and plopped. I handed her some toilet paper so she could wipe her butt. She did one sweep, inspected it, and then she pulled her pants back up and beelined for the exit. I stopped and forced her to wash her hands. When I tried to put soap on them, she roared in protest and went for the door. I love my grandmother, but remind me never to hold her hand again.