I was at my boyfriend’s place eating dinner and watching TV. We had ice cream for dessert. My inability to digest lactose had my intestines gurgling and filling up with gas. I didn’t want to fart next to him because I knew it would be stinky (I’m a really nice girlfriend and a refined lady). So I kept my butthole pinched and my buttcheeks held tightly together for the duration of the show we were watching. When it was over, I excused myself to the bathroom. The gas had built up so much that as soon as I sat down on the toilet, I no longer had control of my butt or the ability to keep my sphincter shut. The gas blasted out of my ass like an exploding muffler. Refined lady attempt fail.