Today’s AIM chat:
Friend: Shit, I have to piss so bad brb.
10 minutes later…
Me: Did you do both?
Friend: I did. It was horrible though. I went in there and both stalls were occupied, so I came back and clenched my orifices for a few minutes and went back. One guy had just flushed and left the stall, so I ran in there– the seat had a drop of urine on it. I have no idea why since he just got up. But I wiped that off and sat down, and as I sat there I could tell the entire seat was moist. I think from his butt sweat.
Me: BARF. Always use the seat protector!
Friend: I considered it, but I was too lazy.
Me: Gross. Now you have another man’s butt sweat on your butt.
Friend: I do. I should probably take an antibiotic. I might have syphillis now.