Poop Party

As soon as I put on my cute little jumper this morning before work, I knew it was a bad idea, but I wore it anyway. 11am rolls around and I need to take my morning dump. I go to my usual bathroom, but someone is in there already shitting in my stall. So I go to a different bathroom, it’s empty.. sweet. I had to completely undress in order to poop (damn you, jumper!) and while I was doing that, two people came in to pee. I don’t like it when other people know I’m pushing out a fat log from my anus hole, but I usually poop as fast as I pee so I’m ok when others are in the neighboring stalls. Taking off the jumper added extra minutes to my bathroom break, and the others finished their business before I was even able to sit down. Dangit.. so two people know I’m dumping. As soon as those two leave, another two come in to pee. WTF? It was like a bathroom tag team. Now I’m having poop anxiety, and I can’t pee or poo as I’m sitting there naked with a jumper around my ankles. As those two are finishing up, I push out my stinky turd and start wiping. They are out the door before I can even flush. Dangit, another two people know I was dumping. Whatev.. not a big deal right? But when I know someone is pooping, I like to imagine them on the toilet with a red face and a vein popping out of their neck as they’re pushing out their turd, and it makes me laugh. I imagine people thinking the same thing of me when they know I’m pooping, and they are totally accurate.

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